Your daughter has requested that you give a mother of the bride speech at her wedding, right? Cue the panic!
Being the mother of the bride is such an important, special, and honorable role at any wedding. But the idea of giving a public mother of the bride speech can be very stressful.
Come the wedding day, all eyes are already on you as the mother of the bride. As you step up to the microphone to recite your mother of the bride toast, the pressure deepens.
Put a pin in that panic attack. As a professional wedding vow and speech writer, I have a detailed plan to help you tackle writing and reciting an impactful mother of the bride speech.
You can follow the advice that I outline in these tips. But if you still find yourself needing help, get in touch. I can help you write a wow-worthy mother of the bride speech.
There are seven parts to writing a mother of the bride toast that will make your daughter proud and will have your guests raving.
Here is the general outline you’ll follow to write your speech:
Introduce Yourself
Thank the Guests
Talk about your Daughter
Talk about your new Son or Daughter-in-Law
Explain Why Their Marriage Makes You Happy
Close with a Wish for the Couple
Practice Reciting the Speech
Part #1: Introduce Yourself
While many guests will already know you and your connection to the couple, you can’t assume that everyone will. It’s important to kick off your mother of the bride speech by introducing yourself.
Example:
Good evening, everyone. My name is Nancy and I’m the mother of the bride.
Welcome! For those of you who I haven’t met yet, I’m Karen—the mother of the bride.
Welcome, everyone. My name is Bethenny and I’m the happiest mother a bride has ever had.
This is a simple yet strong way to begin your toast. Everyone will learn who you are and why you are giving a speech.
Plus, if you have a fear of public speaking, starting the speech by stating a non-emotional fact is a good way to boost your confidence from the very beginning. You are less likely to feel uncertain when delivering a line as factual and simple as who you are.
Part #2: Thank the Guests
Next, thank the guests for attending the wedding.
In many cases, the parents of the bride act as the “host” of their daughter’s wedding. That means it’s also your responsibility to thank everyone for coming to the event you organized.
Examples:
Thank you for being here to celebrate the happy couple and this joyous occasion.
Thank you for traveling from near and far to witness my oldest daughter and my new son-in-law becoming husband and wife.
Thank you for taking the time to join us here in Hawaii to celebrate Diane and Jake getting married.
On behalf of my husband, Paul, and myself—we’d both like to thank you for joining us as we celebrate the beautiful bride and groom.
As shown in the first example, you can keep this section simple and straight to the point.
However, if this is a destination wedding, it’s nice to touch on the extra effort that the guests had to put in to make it to the wedding. You can do this by mentioning how far they traveled or by noting the location of the wedding.
Also, if there’s another parent figure in your daughter's life, you can choose to include them in this section as someone who also wants to thank guests.
Part #3: Talk About Your Daughter
Now we’re getting into more of the core of the mother of the bride speech.
After the initial pleasantries like the introduction and thanking the guests have been completed, it’s time to talk about your daughter.
This is going to be one of the most challenging and daunting concepts when it comes to writing your speech.
To minimize your overwhelm and help you to get started, try this brainstorming exercise. I like to call it my “pen to paper” exercise.
Write for 15 to 30 minutes without ever lifting your pen off of the paper.
The idea is this: you write by way of a stream of consciousness. You don’t judge your notes. You don’t self-critique or edit along the way. You just keep writing.
Once you’re done with the exercise, review your notes. Highlight or underline ideas that you’d like to consider for your mother of the bride speech.
You’ll be able to use several ideas that you jotted down. To get a better idea of how this will work, let’s look at an example.
Brainstorm Note:
Kim is so determined.
Expand on this Brainstorm Note:
When Kim was eight years old, she desperately wanted a Power Wheels Barbie Jeep. She wrote Santa Claus for three years straight pleading for that Jeep. Christmas morning came and our living room floor was covered in the shredded red and green paper but there was no Jeep in sight. I was so worried Kim was going to sulk all morning, sad that Santa had not answered her letter. Instead, she ran to the hall closet to put on her jacket and shoes.
I asked her where she was going and she said to me, “Well, if our neighbor’s living rooms look like ours, they are going to need a cleaning service to help clean it up!”
She marketed herself as an elf and asked for donations as she cleaned up around the Christmas trees of our neighbors. That and a few lemonade stands later, Kim bought the Jeep herself and was cruising down our driveway the following summer.
Tie this Story to Marriage:
Kim is the most determined woman I know. When someone else—not even Santa Clause—didn’t make her dream come true, she worked hard and used her determination to make her dream a reality on her own. That’s why I know her marriage will be a successful one...because she’s determined to make it that way. Come any challenge or bump in the road, she will face it head-on with determination and with Jake by her side.
Can you see from the example how the brainstorming exercise will help you? Take a simple thought, turn it into a bigger and very specific story, and then communicate how that anecdote can apply to their marriage.
Part #4: Talk about Your New Son or Daughter-in-Law
Even though you are the mother of the bride, it’s important to also talk about your new son or daughter-in-law. This is your opportunity to welcome this person into your family and show guests how you feel about him or her.
Let’s look at an example to see how you might talk about your daughter’s new spouse.
Character Trait:
Your daughter’s partner is considerate.
Story to Show Trait:
When I first met Josh, he invited my husband and me to dinner at this adorable Italian restaurant on the water. He had talked to our daughter before the dinner and learned how much we love chocolate gelato and he picked out this restaurant because they were known for their gelato.
Expand this Trait to a Bigger Idea:
That seemingly simple gesture showed me what a very thoughtful and considerate man Josh is. I feel confident in my daughter’s decision to spend her life with Josh because I know she’ll be with a man who puts her needs and desires first.
Do you see how you take one character trait and expand on that by telling a specific story and then connecting that story to the larger concept of marriage? This is the formula you can use to talk about your daughter’s partner within your mother of the bride speech.
Part #5: Explain Why Their Marriage Makes You Happy
Now that you’ve highlighted stories about your daughter and her partner, it’s time to communicate why their entry into marriage makes you happy.
For this section, you want to focus on feelings that you see in the couple and why that brings you joy.
Examples:
As a mother, all I’ve ever wanted for Michelle is to see her happy. I’ve never seen my daughter more full of joy than when she’s with Manny.
Marriage is about support, understanding, and love. This is why I know Jenny and Luis will have a wonderful and lasting marriage and why I couldn’t be more excited to welcome Luis into our family.
Part #6: Close with a Wish for the Couple
Every successful mother of the bride speech needs a strong closing. The best way to accomplish this in your toast is to close with a wish for the couple.
Here are some examples:
Everyone please raise your glass. Cheers to my new son and to my daughter—the most beautiful bride.
I wish you both a lifetime of happiness, laughter, and a love that only continues to grow with each wonderful year you two share together.
May your marriage be full of dreams realized, support for each other, and never ending love.
Part #7: Practice Reciting the Speech
Now that you’re toast is written, it’s time to practice reciting your mother of the bride speech.
Writing is only half the challenge. The other challenging part is feeling comfortable and confident when the microphone is in your hands.
To prepare for that moment, I recommend rehearsing your speech three to five times before the big day.
This will allow you to feel out the rhythm of how you want to deliver the speech. Then, you’ll be poised and ready to recite the perfect mother of the bride toast.
Do You Still Need Help with Your Mother of the Bride Speech?
Are you still feeling stressed and overwhelmed?
As a professional wedding vow and speech writer, I can help write your mother of the bride speech. I have worked with many parents to remove their stress and spark a sigh of relief.
Get in touch to see how we can work together to create a mother of the bride speech that will impress your daughter and all of your guests.
What if you’re not the Mother of the Bride?
Are you the mother of the groom instead of the mother of the bride? Don’t worry! I’ve got you covered too.
Be sure to check out our tips and feedback for how to write a father of the bride speech, how to write a mother of a groom speech, and how to write a father of the groom speech.
